The moon is waxing, reaching its full moon peak in just a couple more nights. We are manifesting whatever we put out there, so let us be intentional and conscious. Prune what no longer belongs and purify and realign our lives. Autumn is a beautiful time to chart new courses and initiate changes for the coming year. The following thoughts originate from the Inner Wise Woman Field Guide and I am finding them very valuable so I am going to share my vision and self.
What have I harvested this year? In what ways have I grown?
During the past year, we have had many people come and go through our community which always brings about the opportunity to grow, to heal, to become stronger. At one point, we had to ask a long term resident to leave and that was difficult for me. I believe all should have equal access to land and basic needs, that sharing with anyone is a good thing. But at the same time, some people become leeches or moochers, and refuse to take responsibility for what happens in their life. When that gets to a certain point and only continues on the downward spiral, we have to call it quits and move forward. To do that with compassion and care was difficult, but we did it the best we could. My partner Carlos and I went through some challenges in our relationship. We both have become far more honest and transparent in our relationship, in the ways we act, the feelings we share, and the language we use. I have become far more patient, understanding, calm, as well as firm with my needs. There is much to learn still, but I have come a long way. We brought our second child into the world this year. In the summer I gave birth to our baby girl Inanna. She came into the world here at home, in the Library of our community, with dear friends at my side and our family awaiting her arrival in the main common house. It was the most beautiful and absolutely blissful feeling that I have ever experienced in my life. The highest high and the most serene yet penetrating power. She came out through screams, cries, laughter, and a deep connection to source. The beauty of it… I learned more from that experience than any other in a moment, one instant. Bringer or creation. I am truly a goddess.
What do I want to celebrate?
Our perfect baby girl Inanna and our perfect, blissful birth!! Both of the children I have brought into the world! Music. Animals. Nature. Trees. Art. Flowing waters through our property. Winds blowing through the woods and turning our windwill. The fires that cook our food, that we dance to and that we create magic with. This big beautiful earth that gives us all the things we need to survive. The rocks to build our floor, wood and mud for our walls, tin for our roofs. The sound of the birds outside our window in the morning. The ability to communicate from my heart. The interconnection between me and Great Spirit, inner knowing, intuition, third eye, vision, creativity, all of it. I am woman! We are all united!
What do I need to let go of in this next season of my life?
The feelings of betrayal well up inside me frequently, mostly in relations with my partner. We have a deep past, long long history, that I find a challenge to let go of. I also feel jealous and self conscious, envious, resentful, and tend to beat people down accidentally or sub consciously to try to get my way. I want to let go of what happened with the people who have entered my relationship with Carlos and move forward with love in my heart. I want to let go of the need to be part of everything and the feelings of jealousy when I am not included. I want to let go of the feeling that people are against me or don’t care. I want to let go of the fear I have of confrontation and trust that all things will be well when I confront conflict with a will to understand and come to agreements.
Are there any opposites in my life that need balancing and reconciling?
Oh yes, thank you to Jack for helping me to identify this one. I display a sense of organized chaos in my daily life, from the office I use for our business to the room I sleep in. I want things to be beautiful and simple and basic, and to great extent they are, while these things continue to look and feel chaotic around me. And so to balance all that, I tend to act controlling of the lives around me to feel a sense of control over my own life. I believe a certain amount of organization is necessary for community to function, but I become overbearing at times.
What am I most longing for in my life?
Harmony with the land, my family, the community, and all of my surroundings. To live in harmony with this place, living simply, while creating space for pure creation to occur in the form of all the things I value. Love. Peace. Joy. Song. Dance. Food. Community. Being in harmony with the moon and stars and sun and trees and all the life around me. Being loud and feeling great about who I am!
What is it I see, feel, and intuit as I enter the New Year of the Soul?
I am becoming whole. I will see the spirit more closely and become more aware of my sense of self. Simplify. Realize more of my true power. See the goddess within. Feel bliss again, repeatedly. A deep sense of joy, gratitude, peace, liberation, and understanding.
Autumn is the time of the inner midwife, which is better represented by the waning moon (this phase returns this weekend), or the ebbing tide. The pre-menstruum woman.
Narrow the gap between where you are and who you want to be.
Principle – Vibrational Alignment
- Soul-centric – identify and feel your deepest longings. identify and let go of what no longer serves
- Womb-centric – menstrual map my monthly cycle on a daily basis
- Nature-centric – follow one’s emotional guidance and practice Vibrational Alignment in Nature
Waxing First Quarter Moon / growth and emergence
- focus on growth and development within projects, goals, and dreams
- pay attention to what is emerging
We are building a Shower Shack attached to the Catbox, our primary communal building. We are compromising here and there to come to a consensus on how the building is unfolding using some natural elements like wood, stone, and even a little cob as well as a little treated lumber, some plastic, industrial insulation. I realize the significance of finishing the building soon and recognize that all in all, the small amount of industrial junk we use is going to greatly benefit a large number of people and this outweighs the environmental damage. Plus most of it was locally sourced and/or refurbished. We are rolling right along with developing infrastructure here and sailing through conflict with love. I am giving and receiving trust, honor, gratitude, strength, fulfillment, and great confidence in our future here together and I look forward to the others who will come.
Full Moon / manifestation and gratitude
- focus on finishing projects or phases of projects
- celebrate what has been accomplished this month
- manifest outcomes
I plan to work hard towards finishing this Shower Shack in the ways that I am inspired. I have been screwing on boards with a power drill and getting pretty good at it, so that is my compromise to industry. Tomorrow I will be making some cob mix to add to the cracks between the boards, as well as get the supplies to make a natural vinegar based stain for the untreated local boards we are using. This will help move the project toward completion while doing the magic to manifest more natural ways of doing these projects in the future. I am also working on my music daily, practicing new rhythms, singing new songs, practicing old ones, and manifesting a tightness there. We recently helped with a cob wall at a friends place manifesting more natural building there. I made a conscious choice to let go of my obsession to further the herbal business in exchange for having more time to natural build. Fall and winter seem a perfect time to focus on Earthworks.