She was born into pure bliss on the night of June 3rd at 11:40PM into the hands of her papa Carlos. With the support of Carlos, Sage and Maria I felt empowered and confident even through the most excruciating pains of my life. I had faith and courage to keep going through the cycles of contractions and power through every push with more and more strength then I knew I even had. The head peaked out and went back in three times and on the fourth time I told papa to pull her out! He says it looked like a sci fi movie from his angle and he couldnt pull her sweet little head. I pushed from the center of my being from a place deep inside that works on instinct and intuition. I kept pushing and pushing, arching my back and breathing through, roaring like a lioness with all the force of the great mother. Out she came into the hands of her daddy and in that moment all those feelings of courage, strength, pain, force… became absolutely bliss and the purest form of love that is not even describable with words. I wept there on my hands and knees, uncontrollable tears of absolute joy for this new baby girl, this sweet blessing from the great mystery of life. I did it!!! On hands and knees with the strength of a lioness and the deepest love I have ever felt, I did it. Without drugs. Without doctors. Without intervention. With the loving support of dear friends who believed in me, encouraged me, and flooded me with confidence. With all that love, my dream of a pure, natural, courageous birth was realized.
We slept in the trailer that night. I couldnt move much so we spent our first blussful night with our new baby there in the space that she was birthed. The next morning Kaylee, Nate, Jay, and Bert arrived for their visitor period. They sold their old life to make a life on the land with us here. Their new home for the time being is the same trailer and there we all were sharing the bliss of this amazing space. Slowly I gather myself together and carried our sweet little Acorn to our nest in the Catbox. We spent most of our first day in our room snuggling, snacking, loving, sharing our bodies and our souls. Maria and Nesto came over with tons of fruit and the community made a cheeseburger feast with homemade buns and all the works. It was a beautiful celebration. Darin also arrived and fell into the shared state of bliss with us. That night our planned midwife came over to do a check up on baby and me and found us to be in perfect health. She was unable to attend the birth but did reach Carlos that evening to encourage him that all would be well and she would come see me when the baby is born. We took our first warm bath together, with healing herbs to help our recovery process. It felt so nice.
On her second full day of life here on Earth in her new body, I began to feel a little emotional and sad. Post partum feelings and general feelings of overwhelm from all the huge changes that happened in the last day. Im normally a very active and involved person in all the things here at Oran Mor Community. Obviously just having given birth put me into a whole different reality and frequency and I wasnt able to be there to direct the family who is just getting settled into a life turned upside down from what they are used to. And they also felt like they have no idea how to plug in and what to do, and so there were some misunderstandings and a general break in our communication. We were able to talk and just communicating about the issues made everything feel so much more calm. I also began feeling some doubt and sadness about Carlos and my relationship because of past events that occured during my pregnancy and my own self doubt and trust issues. Baby Acorn was awake more this day, becoming more alert and aware with her eyes focusing on the people around. She is absolutely gorgeous. That night I wept tears of joy standing in our communal kitchen holding Acorn and sharing a moment with Carlos. I wept from the memory of the birthing that flooded into my consciousness when she looked at me. She felt my body and I felt hers and there was a moment of intense connection that only a mother and child will ever know and share. Carlos was there holding her feeling that moment with us and told me how strong and courageous I am, such power that I hold in my being. He expressed that he knows we have shared a deep bond for lifetimes and he knows that we are meant to travel through this lifetime together as a unit. I felt the truth in that statement deep in my soul. We stayed up late with our friends and family rejoicing in our life together.
Today, On day three I woke up early and spent some time in bed cuddling this precious new life and my two loves Kalani and Carlos. Kalani is so joyful
about his new baby sister, gives her kisses all the time, hugs, cuddles, watches her, and says the sweetest things. He loves having his friends Jay and Bert here who are 4 and 1. He and Jay play together almost all day. Life is beautiful. I was able to get up that morning and start doing the chores. Baby Acorn, Kalani, and Carlos were all in bed together. Kaylee was up making breakfast. I got to milk our goats and when I came back Acorn and Kalani were the cutest little peas in a pod cuddling on the couch together. What a blissful beginning to our day. Nesto and Maria brought us hay for our goats. Kathy stopped by with food and cookies for Kalani who shared them with everyone. I am such a blessed mama. I harvested fresh greens for our goats and took baby with me to harvest greens for the bunnies. My energy is coming back and my body is healing up quickly. I still rested a lot of the day, snuggling with this precious girl and took a nice nap together. We took our first car ride with her today, down to a neighbors farm to pick up some alfalfa. Kalani came along too. She was aware and content on the way there and then snuggled up and fell asleep. Later in the day, I left her with Opa so I could take some hay up the hill to our other goats. I actually pushed the wheelbarrow up there and felt great, and Kalani helped me fill the wheelbarrow with sticks for our cook fires and bring it down to our Outdoor Kitchen. When I got back down here, Acorn and Opa were snoozing on the couch. She is such a peaceful little fairie. She also had her first excursion to the creek today! Carlos and I took some laundry down there to wash and the kids, Kalani and Jay were already down there playing. After doing some of the laundry, I took a dip with our fairie babe who felt a bit cold and uncomfortable. It was a beautiful experience though, sharing natures beauty and healing with this incredible newborn life. Since then we have been lounging around and now she is laying on my belly as I document our life together so far. I feel absolute gratitude, love, joy, bliss, and the power of mother earth and great spirit charging through me and I am excited beyond words for every moment we share together.